Why Is It Hard to Be Nice?

Do you remember when it was fashionable to live by the rule “If you have nothing nice to say about someone, say nothing at all”?  It’s one of those life-lessons, “things I learned in kindergarten” kind of sayings.

A famous Christian writer observed over 500 years ago that, ‘there is hardly anyone who is not tickled with the desire of inquiring into other people’s faults….This depraved eagerness for biting, censuring, and slandering, is restrained by Christ when he says, Judge not.” (John Calvin on Luke 6:37)

Perhaps it is contrary to our human nature to speak nicely of others.  But is this an incurable disease, this practice of speaking mean words about people’s lives? Or is it possible to find a new way forward?  We believe we should say something ‘not nice’ about other people’s faults because ‘they deserve it’, or perhaps words will change society. For example, if a wealthy, famous man gets caught engaging in prostitution; or if an actor stages a crime to gain sympathy, there is nothing nice to say, but does that mean we should say nothing at all? 

But, before we speak words that condemn we should say, ‘there but for the grace of God go I’.  Judging is a sin when we do so from arrogance. When we condemn the sins of others, we should be careful to use words which reflect our own shortcomings, speaking with humility, not with glee.  That a wealthy, 77-year old man seeks sexual pleasure from prostitutes is not something to laugh about, it is something to cry about.  That an actor is so insecure that he thinks the best way to become famous is to deceive the police is a sad commentary on his life and our society, but it isn’t something we should take joy in repeating.

It is so easy today, in our hyper-connected world, to write mean words; to forward or copy tasteless ‘humor’ at the expense of another human being; to use labels as a means of ‘killing softly with words.’  In a society which judges people guilty based on headlines and rumors it might be hopeless to suggest we can do better.

Let’s try to be nicer to each other.  You might change someone, like yourself, for good. (Luke 6:38)

Chris Pratt, Stephen Colbert and Daniel's Den

I didn’t know who Chris Pratt was until he was attacked for being a Christian.  I learned he was a voice actor for the “Lego” movie series, which I will confess to watching (with my grandsons). I did know who Stephen Colbert was, mostly from reading clips from his Late Show monologues. I would not have guessed either man to be a ‘religious’ practitioner.  That’ll teach me.

Chris Pratt, a famous actor (22.9 million Instagram followers!), was being interviewed by Stephen Colbert when Chris explained that he had recently completed the Daniel Plan diet. Stephen asked, “So, is this the prophet Daniel?”  When it was confirmed that it was a diet based on that Daniel, Stephen asked Chris if life as a famous actor was like being in the Lion’s Den.  Stop for a moment and think about this.  In our secularized society, here are two famous Hollywood-types talking about Daniel and the Lion’s Den on national television. That’s more late-night TV air time for God than any church could ever afford to purchase!

Chris took that opening to talk about a clue his Pastor had given him about handling fame.  After the interview aired, an actress took to social media to attack Chris because of the beliefs of the church Chris attended. Chris’ responded with an Instagram post defending his church as being one that loved him through his divorce and, he explained, regardless, he followed the ‘New Commandment’ of Jesus to love one another. He concluded: “This is what guides me in my life. He is a God of Love, Acceptance and Forgiveness. Hate has no place in my or this world.”

And just like that, millions were exposed to the true Christianity.  Jesus warned us that it would be a bad thing if everyone spoke well of his followers. (Luke 6:26) If we speak the Truth those who oppose the work of the Church will attack us. Chris offered a model response to those attacks. God opened my eyes to see how, while it may seem that God is losing the battle for the world’s heart, nothing is ever as it seems. God is still winning. “God is love” is still a message which God is sending to millions of hungry souls.

Nice to know you, Chris. 

Ron Reagan, Religion and Hell

Ron Reagan (no, not the former President but his son) and I agree on some things.  We also disagree on some more important things.  But, following the lead of my theological ancestor, John Calvin, I am going to let positive thoughts about Ron dominate my thinking today.  Trying to find places we agree is always a better way through life.

Ron supports “Freedom From Religion.”  In a commercial for the organization, Ron encourages others to join in advocating for the U.S. Constitution’s guarantee of Freedom of Religion.  Do you see the difference?  I do advocate for Freedom of Religion. Freedom of Religion, right along with Freedom of Speech, made and keep America viable.  But, the Founders never anticipated that the government would guarantee freedom from religion.  The government is not here to protect atheists, like Ron, nor agnostics, from God-believers invoking God’s providential care.  Just like the government doesn’t protect me from atheists publicly denying my God exists. Can you agree with me on that, Ron?

The tag line of Ron’s commercial, delivered with a small smile (smirk?), tells us that he is “Ron Reagan. Life-long atheist. Not afraid of burning in Hell.” On this last point, Ron and I share a common belief. I am not afraid of burning in Hell either, Ron.  In fact, I am certain I am going to spend eternity with God (“Heaven”), not apart from God (“Hell”).  The Bible tells me so. (As does John Calvin.) Now, I don’t know if Ron is not afraid of burning in Hell because he doesn’t believe Hell exists, or because he doesn’t believe there is a God to be separated from. Maybe it is both.

This morning, at 3:00 a.m., I received an email with “????” as the subject line. The only message was 2 Peter 3:9, quoted below. I replied “Truth. Amen! Let’s talk.” Peter gives me Hope that neither Ron nor I will be separated from the love of God.  There’s time, Ron, for you and I to agree on even the more important things.

God isn’t late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn’t want anyone lost. He’s giving everyone space and time to change. (2 Peter 3:9, The Message)