“The friend who can be
silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an
hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing,
not-healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the
friend who cares.” –Henri Nouwen, Out of Solitude (source: http://inwardoutward.org)
If people were writing their
life story would anyone write of you, ‘s/he was my best friend’? What I am asking you is whether there is
someone who views you as the one of whom they would write and mean that you
really are their BFF (‘best friend forever’)?
It’s hard work being a
friend. It takes time. You go shopping.
You attend the latest romantic comedy together. You find time to dine, swapping
stories, sharing tales of your latest pains and woes. What else, in your mind, moves
someone from the point of being a ‘friend’ to a ‘best friend’?
I am guessing that the ‘best’
part has something to do with the two of you having a history. There is an old cartoon I remember in which the
characters are sitting in a jail cell. The caption reads something like, “Your
friend is the one who comes to visit you the next morning and says, ‘that was
fun.’” Being a BFF means you have some moments
that the two of you can remember and smile.
The hardest part of being a
friend, and the part where ‘best’ gets defined is perhaps the ability to sit
silently, not trying to explain God’s apparent absence or abandonment. Just being
there.
In today’s rushed world, full
of endless distractions, it has become very hard to set aside time to be a ‘friend
who cares.’ But that is what best friends
do. Do you care?
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